Saturday 31 December 2016

How to last longer in bed?

To follow on from my previous post last week on the average time a guy lasts in bed, follow here to read it. Today I am going to discuss some tips and techniques to last longer in bed.

As discussed previously, the average time for a guy to last in bed is 5-6 minutes. But if you are a man who last this or less you may well be looking for an edge.

So here we go!

Foreplay;

Need I say anymore on this one. If you can at the start, focus primarily on your partner. According to studies, less that 25% of women orgasm during actual intercourse, so to give the appearance of lasting longer and to ensure your partner is fully satisfied, foreplay is imperative. As a general rule of thumb, you cannot do enough foreplay.



Masturbation/Edging;

Another option is during masturbation (which I am assuming every guy does) is to keep going as close to the PONR as possible. The PONR is the Point Of No Return. During masturbation if you practice going as close to this point as possible regularly, you will gain control over the feeling and be able to better control your orgasms during sex. 

As a rule of thumb it is good to practice during masturbation of going as close to the PONR about 10 times, stopping and repeating. This process is known as Edging if you want to search for more information around it. The theory goes that it is better not to orgasm as the end of it, if you are looking to gain extra control, however, I have found that it works well either way.


Pelvic Floor Muscles;
kegel exercises for men benefits

To follow on from edging, the key is to ensure that your pelvic floor muscles are strong, balanced and that you have control over them.

To attain this, it is key to do Kegels. To do this you first need to find your PC muscle which is quite easy. The next time you’re urinating, stop or slow your pee mid-flow. The muscles used to stop urinating is your PC muscle. Don’t actually tense legs, abdomen or butt cheek muscles, instead focus on lifting your entire pelvic floor upward. Most importantly, continue to breathe through the contraction of your pelvic floor. If you’re able to stop or slow your urine in mid-stream, you’ve just successfully located and contracted your pelvic floor muscles!

To start you need to contract and hold your pelvic floor muscles. At first you may not be able to do this for 1 to 2 seconds. After contraction, you need to release the muscle. Repeat this for 50 times for the first  4-6 weeks every day. 

Work your way up to holding for 10 - 30 seconds. Firstly working up the time you are holding each Kegel for, and then add more 5-10% per week.


Numbing Creams;
Image result for penis numbing creams
There is a huge amount of numbing creams on the market. The thing about these is that although they may allow you to last longer, they do mask something which may mean you end up becoming dependant on using it. Also, this isn't really the best option if you are not in a long term relationship. 

My experience with them is that they do work, but almost too much so. If you overdo it by even a drop you end up having a penis which feels like it has had a local anesthetic injected into it. The end result is a poor erection which is limp, and not exactly what you want.


Condoms;

Using a thick condom will reduce sensitivity and may help you last longer. As well it doesn't stand out as being a cover so suitable even if you are with a stranger.


Masturbating before sex;

This is one that you probably need to experiment with. It will either work for you or not. A lot of people swear by masturbating an hour or two before sex. This will help reduce sensitivity also. Again it works for some not for others so try it out if you want.

In the end, its all about communication with your partner, if you don't have that then the previous items aren't important. Talk with your partner and the rest will fall into place.

If you are also interested in making your penis bigger, the link here to official Bathmate site, which can add up to 1 - 2 inches in length and girth.

Saturday 24 December 2016

How long do guys last in bed?





It's the age old question!

Are you a 1 minute wonder? Or a stallion in the sack!

Today's post will focus on how long do guys last in bed. Of course, I am not talking about sleeping, I am talking about sex :)

The general consensus, particularly among the male population and all my friends included, is that longer is better. Many men have performance anxiety and suffer from premature ejaculation which is defined as the presence of the following;

 - Ejaculation always, or nearly always, happening before sexual penetration has been achieved, or within about a minute of penetration
 - The man finding an inability to delay his ejaculation every time, or nearly every time, he does achieve penetration
 - Negative personal consequences, such as distress and frustration, or avoidance of sexual intimacy

If you happen to have this fear or anxiety and suffer from premature ejaculation, I will be covering tips and tricks to avoid/minimize this in the coming weeks.

As a result of porn and other factors many men have a warped view of exactly the average time for a guy to last during sex is. Very rarely is it normal for a guy to be able to have sex for 30 minutes plus and orgasm on demand.

So what is average, too short and too long?

One major study analyzed IELT, or Intravaginal Ejaculation Latency Time (a very nice way of putting it). A link to the full study can be found here.
average-ielt-distribution500 couples from the Netherlands, United Kingdom, Spain, Turkey and the USA were studied. All couples had been in a stable relationship for more than 6 months. 

The median time of IELT reduced with age. In the 18-30 category the median was 6.5 minutes, reducing to 4.3 minutes for over 51 years old.
Overall, for everyone in the survey the median time for IELT was 5.4 minutes.

As can be seen in the graph to the right, if you are above 2 minutes you are really falling into the average zone, which is much less than people think. Anything beyond 10 minutes is actually quite rare.

Interestingly, the median for circumcised was 6.7 minutes and 6.0 minutes for uncircumcised. Which believe it or not was statistically insignificant. (Turkey was excluded from this part of the study)

Sex Therapists;

According to a 2008 study of United States and Canadian sex therapists, sex that is “too short” lasts one to two minutes, “adequate” lasts three to seven minutes, and “desirable” is seven to 13 minutes. The range for “too long” went from 10 to 30 minutes.

What women want?

The average time it takes a woman to orgasm is roughly 15 minutes. Obviously from the research above, this means a lot of guys do not last the required time. This is what is known as the "Orgasm Gap". 


So how can guys get around this?
 - Learn to last longer
 - More foreplay
 - Get more control over your orgasms, through kegels and other pelvic floor exercises
 - Use a numbing cream or device that will reduce sensitivity
 - Practice. As with anything in life practice makes perfect.

In my upcoming posts I will discuss some ideas and exercises to help you last longer in bed.

Until then, if you have any questions please contact me via the link on the right or leave a comment on the post.